lindsay821
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Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "lindsay821" journal:[<< Previous 10 entries]
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12:45 pm
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Interview
I have an interview Friday... wish me luck!! I really need the money and the Blue Cross!!!! :D
Current Mood:  hopeful
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12:10 pm
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Alive
Im still alive... just been using myspace a lot more these days. Nothing new or exciting to tell.
Mike and I have been getting along really well. The distance has been tough, but its just what we needed to learn to appreciate each other and work on ourselves.
Come Friday I can reapply at the casino in hopes of getting my job back. I NEED the money, I NEED the medical insurance.... life would be grand if I got my job back. So prayers are MUCH much MUCH appreciated here!!
Hope everyone is doing well around here, sorry Ive dissappeared on ya'll again.... Im still here! Really! ;)
Current Mood:  bouncy
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02:02 pm
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Yay! New Car!
I get to pick up my new car Friday. Yay! It is a 2007 Saturn Ion2. I currently have a 2005 Saturn Ion2, but Im WAY over my allowed miles in my lease agreement and each mile I go over I owe GMAC $.020 per mile.... Not to mention Im out of warranty at this point too, so I refuse to pay for anything that goes wrong with a car that isnt even truly mine, so I just went and got a new one. :) My payments are going to be about a hundred bucks more a month, but thats only because I have to pay for the overage in miles on the car I have now, Im paying extra for more miles allowed up front, and Im paying for an extended warranty.
Current Mood: relieved
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11:51 am
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Taylors 3rd Birthday
Friday was Taylors 3rd birthday. I took her downstate to see Mike, the grandparents and my friends.
Friday night we took her to see Disney on Ice: Princes Wishes. It was SO cute!!! Id post some pictures but they turned out kinda blurry. :( Oh well...
Saturday I took Taylor to get her 1st haircut. Its pretty short, but its still really cute. She looks so much older though! She isnt so "babyish" looking anymore. I love the hair, but she's getting so much bigger and older... wow... time sure does fly!!!
I got to see Missy and Carly while I was down there... thats always fun. Went to lunch with Carly and her parents on Saturday... thought for SURE we'd get kicked out, lol. I think Carly is sometimes worse than Taylor is, hahaha.. Thats why I love her though. ;)
Anyhow, heres a few pictures for you...
Dada and Taylor
Me and Taylor
Happy Birthday!
Taylors 1st haircut
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09:11 pm
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RIP: George Richard Mackris 3/2/31-2/23/07
Today was my ex-step dad, George's, viewing at the funeral home. It was REALLY hard. Im glad I went though. I know he didnt want me to see him like that, but I had to do it. I would have never forgave myself. My friends Carly and Missy from high school went with me. Carly saw George a lot at their favorite restuarant and kinda kept in touch with him, so I knew it meant a lot to her to go. And I really appreciate her going. Missy spent so many hours at my house when we were kids that George was like her second dad... so it was important she went as well. I couldnt have done it without them. Mike stayed home with Taylor so I didnt have to deal with Taylor running around or asking why "Grandpa George" couldnt play with her. Georges eldest son HATES me, like literally, and made it as if my Mom and I didnt even exist in Georges life. We werent mentioned in the obituary, and there was a huge poster board of pictures of George and his friends/family thru the years, and my Mom and I were no where to be seen on there as well.. and George raised me from 1987-1999 and was still best friends with my Mom and extremely close to me after that. I talked to him every week and saw him as often as he was well enough to see me. So that was pretty heartbreaking but I expected it, so I was prepared. Georges youngest son was really nice to me though... he cried harder than I did and he hugged me like ten times. He told me "we're all here for you" and I kinda laughed and was like "not everyone" (referring to the older son) and he was like "dont worry about it. We are all here for everyone" and I told him I couldnt emotionally handle the funeral service tomorrow and he understood. There were other family members of Georges who I sorta hung out with and talked about memories with. Everyone told me how proud George was of Taylor and how excited and full of life he got when he spoke of her... that makes me happy to think of. I think I was there for roughly an hour. It was hard, but Im glad I went. He was a part of my life for 20 years... Im really going to miss him.
Current Mood:  sad
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09:30 am
[Link] | I havent been anywhere other than the grocery store since last weekend, so I was getting cabin fever really bad. So, last night I decided to drive around just to get out of the house after Taylor was in bed. So, I found myself driving out towards the casino. I was just going to turn around but instead I went to the bar where I used to hang out a lot last winter when I actually had some friends. So, me... a 26 year old person... is SUCH a loser that she went to the bar ALONE. I had a whole half a beer and left. I sat a few stools down from a couple people I used to work with and they talked to me some so that made me feel a little less awkward. I think I was there for all of maybe a half hour.... *sigh* Such is life these days! :(
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09:48 am
[Link] | I got a phone call from my Grandma at 10:00 last night... she told me that my step dad who has been a part of my life since I was 6 years old is in a hospice right now. He's been ill for 3 years on and off, but now finally his organs are shutting down one by one. His liver, then his kidneys, then he had congestive heart failure. Hes pretty much unconsious. He comes to it every now and then, but has no idea whats going on. He's on feeding tubes at the moment, but once he completely loses consciouness and goes into a coma they are taking the feeding tubes out and just letting him go. I pray he goes peacefully, and doesnt suffer. I also pray he goes quickly because he is just SO sick, in pain and miserable when he's awake that he is simply ready to go. Im prepared for his death as well, but losing a parent is something extrememly painful to even think about. When my Grandma called I fell to my knees and just sat there shaking and crying.. I called my Mom and I was crying so hard I could hardly spreak. If you pray... please pray he goes peacefully. Thanks.
Now on to "happier" things.....
Missy is coming to see me 4 weeks from Friday.... YAY!!!!! I should prepare my father now for her violent puking all night long, because I already know we will be drunk, lol. Im SOOOOOOOOOO excited!!!!
My Dad is going to pay for me to go Curves just so I get out of the house. Ive been doing really well doing Weight Watchers on my own since I cant afford to go, so he told me he'd pay for my gym membership. Ive lost 12 pounds in 18 days, and would be doing even better -- or else at least losing inches on top of that if I were going to the gym.
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09:53 am
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Bitch Fest
1) Being alone is the worste feeling in the world.
2) I officially have no friends up here and thats something really painful.
3) Im sick to DEATH of fighting with Mike every day of my life. I wish we could just get along.
4) I realize that the casino is the only job Ive ever enjoyed. I miss that job more than anything and would kill to get it back. But... I know they'd never hire me back. I miss all the smiling faces and people who were genuinely happy to see me.
5) I miss my cats. :(
6) Being alone with Taylor all day every day with NO breaks is like a never ending nightmare.
7) I miss my best friends.
8) I got my job back at the mall, and I should be happy right? Im not. I dread going back there next week.
9) I want to know what happiness is, but I cant seem to locate the meaning of it....
Current Mood: depressed
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10:02 am
[Link] | Ive never been so cold or bored in my entire life... lol... I go for days without leaving the house because its too damn cold and I have no one to go see. Im actually contemplating going to the movies by myself Im so bored. I thought it was a totally weird thing, but my hair dresser said she has a girlfriend who actually goes to the movies alone on purpose so she can sit and relax alone and enjoy a flick. I dont know if Im quite that desperate just yet, lol... I DO really want to see the new "Hannibal" really bad though, so.. hm... maybe if I cant get my Mom to go with me I just may resort to lonely moving viewing.. Ill give it another week and we'll see....
Missy is going to try to come up for St. Patricks Day. She better!!! Thats like the ONLY day that will work because her son's birthday is the only other weekend that will work for her because she had to be a dork and take weekend classes. She better come or Ill be SO upset... :(
My big exciting (okay, not so exciting) plans for the week are Im going to the casino Saturday to meet Suzanne (an ex coworker of mine) so we can go to dinner to catch up. She gets out at 5:00 so my big night out should be over by 7:00, and Ill be home in time to get Taylor to bed, lol. Go me! Oh, well... at least I get out of the house!
Taylors birthday is in a couple weeks and Im going downstate for that....
Oh! And I got my old job back at the mall at that gift store I worked at for like 3 years before I quit there to go work at the casino. My boss called my Mom to try and track me down. So I went up there yesterday and filled out at application so she can submit it to corporate so she can start the hiring process again. She said I should be able to get started in a few weeks once their yearly inventory is done with. Ill probably only work like maybe 10 hours a week but it gets me out of the house and a little money to save in the bank towards moving out of my Dad's.
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01:22 pm
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Random
This past week has been pretty busy. Sunday Mike and I went and got our taxes done. We did that instant refund thinggy at "H and R Block" and sadly enough 3 days later its ALL gone.. well most of it. We have to put a little in the bank for Taylors birthday which is a month from tomorrow. We bought her tickets to see "Disney Princess Wishes on Ice". http://disneyonice.disney.go.com/disneyonice/princesswish.jsp
Yesterday Carly went with me to get my septum pierced. I think she thinks Ive totally lost my mind, lol... Oh, well.. she loves me anyways... :) Lookey here:
Today Ive been pretty much sorting stuff and throwing away a lot of broken toys and stuff. Packing. I HATE packing. *sigh* Only two more days till I move back up north.. SCARRRY!!!
Oh! And I added a couple new icons on here.. theres one of me and Missy and one of me and my friend Carly.
Current Mood:  busy
Current Music: The Very Best of Prince
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